Antics
by melmel12129
Summary: A sweet little childish story revolving around Yotsuba and the people around her including Koiwai, Jumbo, the Ayase's, Miura, Yanda, Torako, and any others I can think of. WARNING: May contain randomness. You have been warned. Antics #2: Yanda and the Zoo.
1. No Yelling

Antics #1: No Yelling

**melmel12129: Well, I'm back again! 'Lo everybody!**

**I have been neglecting ideas in progress, especially ALL my wonderful Thrill fics which I have a writers block on regarding the fact that there was an epic Perfect Pair moment before Tezuka leaves for Germany and hears Atobe's cry. SORRY! Enjoy.**

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"DADDY! DADDY! LOOK WHAT I CAUGHT!" Yotsuba ran into the room wearing her tsukutsukuboshi fairy costume and holding a rather muddy huge cicada in her cupped palms.

Koiwai, in the middle of his "boxer dance" slowly lowered his arms and legs and appraised the cicada.

Jumbo poked his head into the room. "Mighty big, that one," he said, shaking his head, thinking about ways to impress Asagi with cicadas, no less.

"AND I CAUGHT IT ALL BY MYSELF!" Yotsuba grinned and held the cicada up in Koiwai's face.

"Stop yelling Yotsuba. You're going to annoy the neighbors. It's not good to yell," 'Daddy' taught another contradictory life lesson.

The cicada buzzed.

"_Buzzzzzz..._" it buzzed again. Then, it lifted it's wings and flew up, straight into Koiwai's eyes.

"AGGGHHHH!" Koiwai yelled.

"NO YELLING, DADDY!" Yotsuba yelled.

"NO YELLING, YOTSUBA!" Jumbo yelled.

"NO YELLING, JUMBO!" Koiwai yelled.

"NO YEL-" Yotsuba was cut off.

Fuka poked her head in. "I'm going to get some groceries. Want to come with me, Yotsuba?"

"YAY! Fuka-the-one-that's-not pretty is going to buy groceries with me!" Fuka glared at Yotsuba for the much hated nickname.

Jumbo, suddenly interested, ducked through the doorway. "Hey, is Asagi coming?"

Fuka rolled her eyes, "No, Asagi's out with her boyfriend."

"ASAGI HAS A BOYFRIEND?" Jumbo yelled.

"ASAGI HAS A BOYFRIEND?" Yotsuba yelled.

"ASAGI HAS A BOYFRIEND?" Koiwai yelled.

"STOP YELLING, WILL YOU ALL?" Fuka sighed and shook her head at Jumbo's forlorn face. Immediately, Yotsuba ran to get sheets of white paper. Scratching furiously at the printer paper with her black sharpie, she handed them out to everyone in the room.

The top read, 'THE YOTSUBA NEWS', and under read, 'ASAGI HAS A BOYFRIEND!'

"Here! One for Ena, one for Asagi-the-pretty-one, one for Mom, one for Miura, one for Tora, and one for Asagi's boyfriend!" Yotsuba cheered, seemingly not noticing Jumbo's HUGE (seriously, he actually fit under the door when he slumped) slump at the "news".

Fuka half smiles half frowns, remembering the previous newspaper, 'FUKA HAS HEARTBREAK' and recalls up a bad memory.

Fat-legged Fuka. Now that wasn't the best name ever. Just listening to it in her mind made her want to fall face down on the couch. Self-consciously, she looked down at her battered old T-shirt with a pun on it. Haha. Funny. Then, there was her baggy old jeans, and her muddy tennis shoes. Wow. This really was ugly compared to Asagi. She shook her head.

It wouldn't do any good to be sad, would it?

Yotsuba and Fuka headed off for groceries on the famous bike, and returned with tons of bags.

Yotsuba lifted up an entire bag proudly with shaking, thin arms. "DADDY! I got some cup noodle for Yanda-Bad-Guy!"

"That's good. Put that in the pantry," Koiwai directed, having finally the decency to put on some pants after finding it embarrassing to stand in front of Fuka in his boxers only.

Yotsuba did as he asked, and returned a bit later, as cheerful as ever and not deterred at all.

'_And she's still not tired...how?'_ Fuka wondered, huffing. Ever pesissmistic, she blamed it on her "fatness".

Fuka went back to the Ayase Household, and after a few hours, it was dinnertime. Jumbo had left, and all that was left was Yotsuba and her "Daddy."

Yotsuba happily shoveled a spoonful of curry in her mouth, smiling and chewing with her mouth open.

Koiwai reminded Yotsuba, "Don't chew with your mouth open, Yotsuba."

"Ok, Daddy," Yotsuba grinned.

Then, as Koiwai ate a bite of curry, he discovered something rather...unsettling. "Hey, Yotsuba, where did that cicada you caught go?"

"DADDY! NO CHEWING WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN!" Yotsuba's eyes turned into black circles of shock, opening her mouth in a gasp. She leant backwards as if to fall in surprise, but stopped herself in the nick of time.

Koiwai sighed. "Where did it go, Yotsuba?"

"It went...hm...I don't really know, Daddy. Aha! IT'S RIGHT...THERE!" Yotsuba's eyes got huge again and she pointed one shaking finger of power at...

Koiwai's hair. Koiwai screamed, slapping his poor, abused hair. Well, first, a cicada made it's nest there, then, the cicada pooped on it. _Then_, it got slapped like it was the end of the world.

The cicada buzzed away, out the open window. Where it would never be seen again. Koiwai hurriedly finished his curry, put his plate in the sink, then ran to the bathroom to assess the damage the cicada poop had done.

After repeatedly washing the poop out of his hair, he emerged, hair dripping wet, but satisfied with his work.

Seeing Yotsuba still frozen in shock next to her curry, he sighed for what had to be the at least third time that day. "Yotsuba, go get ice cream from the Ayase's or something." He didn't want to do this. He really didn't. It wasn't good to take food from other families like that. But it provided a source of entertainment for Yotsuba...so...

Upon hearing the word "ice cream", Yotsuba sprang up and made a mad dash towards the door. "BYE DADDY!"

Koiwai looked at Yotsuba's fast, blurring feet and sighed. "How nice it is to be young..."

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I know, I know, sucky ending. I wrote this in 10 minutes. Once I got the idea, I wrote it and posted it. I didn't even edit it. Seriously. So if it's random, I KNOW. Ok? Next chapter is DEFINITELY going to have Yanda. I love how Yotsuba and Yanda interact, it makes me crack up. I have NOT finished the entire manga series, I have read 5 volumes. So bear with me here.

-melmel12129


	2. Yanda and the Zoo

**melmel12129 here! Read slightly more Yotsuba&!, but still haven't finished with it! I'm on the air balloon chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yotsuba&! **

**Enjoy**

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"THE ZOO THE ZOO THE ZOO THE ZOO THE ZOO THEZOOTHEZOOTHEZOO!" was all that could be heard this fine morning. This fine _June _morning.

It was incredibly hot outside. It was over eighty degrees, and Yotsuba just couldn't take sitting in the house any longer. It was just past lunch, and the heat was at it's peak.

"THE ZOO THE ZOO THE ZOO THE ZOO THE ZOO THEZOOTHEZOOTHEZOO!" Yotsuba repeated. In addition to seeing all those fascinating animals, Yotsuba would also have a chance to buy and eat ice cream. In such a warm summer day, her Daddy would definitely buy her the yummy _cold _treat. She drooled thinking about it.

Koiwai, who was currently stretched out on the futon with the fan blowing in his face (thank god for the invention of fans...after all, air conditioning wasn't good to use anymore after Ena told Yotsuba that it was the cause of global warming), sighed and pretended to be asleep. He felt something warm...and goopy on his cheek.

He wiped a bit on his finger and looked at it, opening his eyes. Was that...Yotsuba's drool? "EEEEGH!" He leapt up in his boxers and proceeded to run to the bathroom and wipe his face over and over again.

Yotsuba was happy. Step 1: Complete. Get Daddy to wake up. Step 2: Convince. If this step failed, all would be lost.

"Daddy! If we don't go to the zoo to get ice cream, then I'll just go over to the Ayase's to get some!" Yotsuba tugged on the waistband of his boxers. Koiwai slapped himself.

Why were they out of ice cream, now of all times? "Okay, we'll go to the zoo, Yotsuba," he relented, sighing and pulling on his pants.

"WOOHOO!" Yotsuba yelled happily, running around the room at full speed, mussed double pigtails swinging with a wide grin on her face.

Just then, they heard a rapping sound on the door. Yotsuba, still hyped up with energy, rushed immediately to the door and pulled it open, expecting it to be Fat-Leg Fuuka, Pretty Asagi, or Smart Ena. Instead, she gaped up at the man that towered high above her (and no, it wasn't Jumbo.) and immediately tried to shut the door in his face.

Koiwai walked into the room rubbing his face. "Yotsuba, who is it?" All he could see was a protruding foot from the door Yotsuba was attempting to shut.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!" the mysterious man yelled. "Stop closing the door on my foot!" At the sound of his voice, Koiwai knew why Yotsuba was shutting the door instantly.

It was Yanda.

_Yanda_.

Yotsuba's worst enemy.

Koiwai sighed, repeatedly rubbing and rubbing his eyes like there was no tomorrow. "Yotsuba...you can open the door for Yanda, you know."

"HE'S A BAD GUY! YANDA'S A BAD GUY! BAD GUY YANDA!" Yotsuba yelled, viciously pushing the door into Yanda's foot. He let out the highest shriek yet.

"Hey, Yotsuba, if you let me come in, I'll give you candy," Yanda desperately bribed. Yotsuba's day brightened once again, and she pulled the door open.

"Candy. Now," she demanded, holding out a hand. Yanda dropped a small piece of candy in, and Yotsuba wrapped her hand around it, triumphant.

Yanda looked around, "Koiwai-san, do you have any ramen around here?" Yotsuba hurried into the pantry.

"Here, here's some ramen I bought all by myself for Yanda-bad-guy last time we went to the grocery store," she came back carrying a cup noodle. Her chest puffed up at the sound of herself saying, 'all by myself'.

Yanda bent down and smiled. "Thanks, Yotsuba."

While Yanda waited for the ramen to boil in the hot water, Yotsuba reported daily events to him, "Today we're going to the zoo! AND YOU'RE NOT GOING! HA!" She stuck out her tongue at him.

Yanda, feeling particularly spiteful after receiving the blisters on his foot from her today (the door) stuck his tongue back out and grabbed the candy from her, which was still clenched tightly in her fist.

"HEY! MY CANDY! GIVE IT BACK! GIVEITBACKGIVEITBACKGIVEITBACK!" Yotsuba screamed loudly.

Yanda shook his head, and sat down, beginning to slurp his noodles.

"YOU'RE NOODLES TASTE LIKE POO! THEY TASTE LIKE POO!" Yotsuba screamed loudly again, pointing at Yanda with an accusing pointer finger.

Yanda grimaced. "Ew..."

"Serves you right!" Yotsuba harrumphed and turned away.

"Wow, Yotsuba's learning big phrases," Yanda commented.

Yotsuba turned around once and stuck out her tongue again. Koiwai merely sighed and said, "Well, Yanda, I think you heard Yotsuba announce that we're going to the zoo. Would you consider tagging along? You have the car, I need another adult to take care of her, and you can pay for the ice cream," he whispered the last part quietly.

Yotsuba turned to Koiwai, outraged. "DADDY! You can't be serious!" Her mouth hung open.

"Well, now we got that settled, let's go!" Yanda cheered, ignoring Yotsuba. Yotsuba reluctantly agreed, in case she wouldn't be able to go to the wonderful zoo if she didn't.

As she sulked, Koiwai got into the front seat. Yotsuba looked up, eyes huge, and mouth large enough to catch flies. "AAAHHHH!" she screamed.

Yanda winked at her from the driver's seat, and she stomped into the back of Yanda's car (remember Koiwai doesn't have one).

"TO THE ZOO!" the trio yelled together into the warm summer air.

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**Next chapter will be the actual trip to the zoo.**

**-melmel12129**

**If you read it, I would appreciate you leaving a review. Most of you will ignore this, but knowing you read it is enough. Reviews are just something extra that can be very helpful to lots of authors.**

**Thanks**


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